171 lbs. 

down 26 lbs. from start 

31 lbs. to my goal 

Ok... So it may seem like nothing has changed since I wrote last. But I actually fell off the wagon again. I went up to 177lbs... But don't worry guys! I'm back again! I've been working pretty hard the last two weeks. I've lost about 6 pounds. I'm trying to find a pretty consistent workout routine. I'd like to do strength training 3 times a week and some zumba for cardio once or twice a week. I'm back to logging consistently. I need a MFP buddy to help keep motivated. I love seeing other people logging, working out and losing. Encouraging each other and doing it together keeps me excited. But I've learned not to rely on someone else for motivation. Other people are humans, just like me. They fall off. They get lazy. Tired. Sick. Busy. But just because they do should not give me am excuse to do bad too. I'm doing this for me and only me so only I can make this happen. I gotta keep my head in the game. I started this journey about a year ago exactly. And I just think... If I get serious now... I have time to accomplish a lot by spring/summer! I can look even better than I did last year. I suppose this is all I have to say for today. Hopefully I can write in a few weeks and there will be a steady decline like before! 

Oh, on a slightly different note. I have decided to stop drinking alcohol. I don't know for how long. Maybe a few weeks, months, years, forever? Who knows. Some days I think it's going to be so easy to just never drink again. And then other days, I remember certain holidays, events or even great memories that involve(d) alcohol and I worry that I'll miss out on some fun times if I choose to never drink. Like New Years? The idea of being sober on New Year's Eve just seems weird. Or Mardi Gras? What about vacation? Would you go to Vegas and not drink? Or an all inclusive resort? Or even certain social situations. Holidays with Phil's family and girls nights. I'm going to feel weird declining a drink. These are the things that leave me unsure of my relationship with alcohol. Should I just learn to have only one or two drinks and stop? Just learn to not drink excessively? But sadly, then I say "then what's the point? Why drink at all?" When I drank, I drank to get intoxicated. Sooooo I'll just stop there. But I'm still puzzled with it all. We'll see how that works out. At the very least, it will make eating better and exercising a little easier by never being hungover! :) 

See ya! 

Melissa 

171 lbs. 

down 26 lbs. from start 

31 lbs. to my goal 

Told you I was coming back! I have kept my food intake under control the last two days. And did not drink alcohol at our volleyball game last night! Hopefully I can convince myself to go to the gym tonight. There are two Zumba classes for me to choose from so I don't have an excuse not to go. My trainer keeps telling me how pointless Zumba or any of the classes are. I know he's supposed to be the expert but I really don't believe him. I think they are excellent for cardio and definitely helped me with my weightless. I understand the importance of strength training too but I refuse to believe that Zumba is just useless. And especially some of those other classes that  are difficult and not even fun! Haha ok... Off to work I go! 

See ya! 

Melissa 

173 lbs. 

down 24 lbs. from start 

33 lbs. to my goal 

Well... I lied. I continued to eat bad. And I only worked out with our trainer two times a week. I gained weight and I can't blame anyone but myself. I'm seriously trying to turn this around again. I'm ashamed of how much I've gained back. I have even gone back over my halfway mark. It is discouraging. But I know that I can do this. I have obviously done it before. I just gotta work hard to get where I was and then work even harder to get past it. The summer is gone. That means that I need to cut out all the nonsense. I seriously want to drink alcohol as not often as possible. Not only is it bad in itself and also encourages bad eating, I get extremely hungover these days. That means that I also cannot make it to the gym the next day. I realize there will still be times that I will drink. But I'm going to try to do it within reason. And really embrace the weekends where I don't have any plans that promote drinking to do healthy things and get to the gym. This weekend for example, Phil is going out of town and I have no plans except some fun work events. I'm actually excited that I will not be consuming alcohol. Lol 

I've got more to say but I'm gonna keep this short.. I've been doin strictly strength training with our trainer recently. This means dead lifts, squats, should press and bench lifts. Maybe a couple other things. But we are sticking to pretty basic movements. I'm planning to lose this weight and also to become strong! 

That's it for now! 

See ya! 

Melissa 

??

I don't know my weight at the moment, but I could bet that it has gone up. I have fallen off the bandwagon. During the summer, there are so many fun things going on and they very rarely involve healthy behaviors. My new job isn't helping either. The people I support are obsessed with salts and sugars. McDonalds and soda is all they talk about. 

But starting today, I'm determined to get back into it. I am going to start eating right again. But when I say that, I'm going back to calorie counting. Cutting out carbs is pretty unrealistic. I'll try to cut back a little but I'm going to do what worked for me before. Also, I'm getting back to the gym. I've been seeing our personal trainer but that's it. So I'm going back to zumba at least twice a week too! I also just need to isolate myself again. That's sad, but when I'm with my friends a lot, I can't stay on the straight and narrow. I lose sight of what I want. 

Starting today, I'm going to do awesome! 

See ya! 

Melissa 

162 lbs. 

down 35 lbs. from start 

22 lbs. to my goal 

Nothing really exciting to report.. I haven't been eating very well or working out much over this holiday weekend. But luckily, I haven't gained anything. I'll consider that a victory. 

I start my new job today! I can't wait! It's going to be weird doing something totally different and also weird because I've been off work for like 3 weeks. But it's time to get back to a regular schedule. That helps me keep up with eating better and working out too. 

Ok, I guess that's really all I have to say today. But really, I can't wait to lose like 3 more lbs and be in the 150s! I've been on the 160s forever! 

See ya! 

Melissa 

162 lbs. 

down 35 lbs. from start 

22 lbs. to my goal 

So I have returned from my lovely vacation! I had a great time with great people! I could go on and on about it, but I'm sick so I don't have the energy and I don't want to bore you. 

Luckily, I didn't gain 10 pounds. The only exercise we did while we were gone was water aerobics. It was easy but I'm glad I got off my butt and did something and it was hilarious watching Phil and Josh do it with us. lol. 

Now that I'm home.. I'm sick. Yesterday, I had a headache and sort of felt like I was coming down with something. Then, I got hungry and decided to binge on some cookie dough. I literally ate a half a sleeve of raw cookie dough while my mom and Phil were both telling me how bad that is. I've heard that before, just like everyone else in the world. But I have never gotten sick off of it. Well, about an hour later, my tummy started to hurt. It just got worse and worse through out the night. I couldn't even fall asleep. It was the worse stomach ache I have ever had. And perhaps this is TMI but I had diarrhea as well. Now, almost 24 hours later, I feel weak and have chills. I'm not sure what is wrong with me. I feel like I was getting sick and in the middle of my sickness, I got food poisoning. I am really not sure though. 

I'm missing our workout with Jeff tonight. I just feel too weak. I went on a 15 minute walk with Buzz and felt dead afterwards. 

I just wanted to give you a quick update on my life. I have not gained or lost any weight. I'm 2 lbs. away from losing the DietBet. I need to get back into training asap. I start my new job in like a week and a half. And that's all I have to say. :) 

Good night! 

Melissa 

162 lbs.

down 35 lbs. from start

22 lbs. to my goal

 

So we did our re-evaluation with Jeff yesterday. I had lost about 4 pounds in a little over a month. My body fat percent stayed the same. And I actually did see some changes in my measurements. I lost an 1.5 inches in my hips. I also lost a tad in my arms, thighs and waist but the hips were most significant.  That was interesting just because I never really seem to see a difference in my measurements when I do them myself. I would like to see my body fat percent go down next time. Phil is doing awesome though! He has lost about 9 pounds this last month. If he just puts a little bit of effort into working out and eating right, he will lose so quickly. I'm proud of him. I never thought he'd join me in trying to get healthy and lose weight.

 

I'm still 3 pounds away from where I want to be when I leave for vacation. And that's in 4 days! It's a long shot, but I'm going to try not to go crazy this weekend while we are on our float trip. Phil's step mom was talking to me about what to bring and asked me to make brownies. I told her that I didn't want the brownies and I'm bringing a watermelon instead. I have really been craving a nasty dinner though. I just want a big juicy burger and fries! I'm sure it'll happen at some point this weekend. I can't deprive myself forever. I get crabby. lol.

 

I ordered a VS swimsuit top online and just got it yesterday. Why are their Large swimsuits not large?! It fits me. But barely. I just wish the triangles covered more. I still plan on bringing it on vacation and wearing it. But it needs to be just a tinnnny bit bigger and I'd love it.

 

Today is my last day at Metlife... ever!! It's crazy. It doesn't feel like my last day. This has been my job for the last 5 years. I feel like I'm just going on vacation and I will be back. I'm not sure when reality will really hit  me.

 

Well, I guess I'm going to do a little bit of work today. lol.

 

See ya!

Melissa

162 lbs.

down 35 lbs. from start

22 lbs. to my goal

 

So I have been trying to cut out carbs lately. Obviously some sneak in, because there are carbs in everything. But I haven't been having bread or potatoes in quite a few days. Hopefully this will help me jump start some weight loss. Jeff says it will. I have started eating sweet potatoes! They are supposed to be really good for you. I actually sort of like them so that is a good thing! I'm hoping that I can hit 159 lbs by Monday! I'm not so sure it will happen, but I'm going to try. I'm going to try to go shopping today and go to zumba. I skipped my workout yesterday. I have to go today. I'll have to convince Phil to go workout with me on Friday too since we will be on a float trip the rest of the weekend.

 

So I start my new job on July 8th. I already put my two weeks in at MetLife so I will get a little time off. That's good though. I need to get some things done. I have to get my car door/window fixed. I have to use my own car for this job and it's not going to work out if one of my rear doors isn't working. Then, I want to get my car all cleaned out! I want it spotless! I love having a clean car but it rarely ever is.

 

Oh, something else happened! I got called back for a 2nd interview with Castlewood Treatment Center. I'm very honored that they called me back. I wish the food thing wasn't an issue. If that wasn't a factor, I would pursue it for sure. But I honestly don't think I can force myself to eat foods that I don't like 40 hours a week. It makes me kind of sad. I sense that I probably could have made a little more money at this place. And I think I would have enjoyed it too. But I'm happy to work with St. Louis Arc. I think it will be a good starting point and perhaps in a year or so, I can try to move elsewhere and get some different experience.

 

So over the last week, I have had at least two people notice my weight loss. And when I say that, I mean these are people that I don't see or talk to often that didn't even know I was trying to lose weight. Those are the ones that make me happy. Because at least half of the time, if people know you are trying to lose weight, they are like "are you losing weight? you can tell." No, you can't. I'm trying, but I haven't lost anything yet, ya doofus. lol. I just feel like a lot of the time people are just trying to be nice by telling you that they can tell. But I had two people say something that did not know I had been trying. That's a horray for me! I feel like I'm just now starting to notice myself that I am actually smaller. I don't feel at all where I want to be, but I feel better. I fit very comfortably into medium size t-shirts now. I'm honestly tempted to try on a small, because my new medium ones are almost big. I want to fit in smaller size pants too! That has yet to really happen yet. Some day... lol.

 

Well, I'm gonna get to work. Only 3 days left at MetLife! 6 more days till vacation!

 

See ya!

Melissa

162 lbs.

down 35 lbs. from start

22 lbs. to my goal

So I am losing! Over the weekend, the scale actually read 160.7 lbs!! But I'm waiting to log that. I ate really well all weekend until Sunday. I didn't do absolutely terrible, but I didn't do good so I think I'll have to make up for it today. But I am confident that I may actually reach the 150s by our trip! I just hope that I can maintain it while on vacation!

On another note, I got the job!! I will be a Direct Support Professional in the Day Program at St. Louis ARC. I'm super excited! It's going to be a totally new experience for me. I put in my two weeks at my job today. I cried. I knew I would. I have been here for 5 years. It's going to be so scary leaving. I can only hope that I am making the right decision. My manager hugged me and told me how proud she was of me. It made me feel better. I don't know when my exact starting date is yet. I will find out today I believe.

Chelsea, Riley, Phil and I at YWCA's Walk a Mile in Her Shoes.

Phil and I at Graffiti Run

 

Our walks this weekend were awesome! I don't have much to say about them. Watching 100+ men attempt to talk in heels was absolutely hilarious! But it was so moving. It was really a beautiful thing and I'm so glad that Phil is so willing to participate in such events. It makes me love him 100 times more! The Graffiti Run turned out great as well. We were with lots of friends and family and the weather was amazing!

 

Life is good right now. :)

Vacation in 8 days!!

See ya!

Melissa

163 lbs.

down 34 lbs. from start

23 lbs. to my goal

Yay! I told you I would start losing again soon! The scale actually read 162.5 lbs this morning, but I'm not recording that quite yet. I think you need those plateaus and times where you are lazy, food and exercise wise. Your body sometimes needs some time to rest and adjust and make your new weight the "normal" weight for you. Then, once it's all regulated, you can go hard again and lose some more. This is just my theory, but it works for me. lol.

 

So we worked out with Jeff last night and talked about foods. Jeff is starting to give me a lot of crap about the stuff I eat. I'm telling you, it is SO hard for me to eat healthy with my darn pickiness. He told me "no more chef boyardi... lunchables... baked potatoes..." Is he crazy? I'm going to die of starvation! lol. We also talked about working hard for vacation and he said that if we really want to lose weight fast to cut out all carbs. (He said he would only have us do this for a short period of time though.) This is unrealistic for me. But I'm going to try to keep the carbs to a minimum, at least for the next week or so. We'll see. I'm going to try to eat lots of protein and veggies. This weekend is here and that usually means eating out and ruining everything I did during the week. I'm going to try really hard to not let that happen this time.

 

Tomorrow, Phil, my friend Chelsea and her boyfriend Riley are participating in YWCA's Walk a Mile in Her Shoes. It is a one mile walk to show support for ending sexual violence. Phil and Riley will be sporting red pumps for this walk. I'm so excited! Chelsea and I participated in SlutWalk last year, but we really wanted to get the guys involved. I hope to see a lot of people out there supporting this cause. :)

 

Sunday, we have our Graffiti Run. This will be my first 5k! We won't be running, because we are going with a large group of people including many that don't run. Now, I sort of wish I could attempt to run it. I can only run 1 mile on the treadmill so it'd be super hard and I'd be slow but I want to push myself. It's fine that we are walking this one. My next one will be hard.. The Dirty Girl Mud Run in September. I'm going with Ashley and Angelina who have done other 5ks and are pretty athletic. I'm scared for that one.

 

Today is the day that I talk to the coordinator at St. Louis Arc. Ughh. I'm so nervous. I better freaking find something out today. I will die if this ends up only being an interview and I don't know if I got a position or not. And that is totally possible. I may be super depressed the next time I write. We'll see...

 

See ya!

Melissa

164 lbs.

down 33 lbs. from start

24 lbs. to my goal

Ahhh! I'm so anxious!! So one of my best friends and coworker Chelsea also applied to work at St. Louis Arc. She had an interview the day after me. She told me how hers went and it just made me more anxious for Friday! When she went, she said the lady told her that the day program position was no longer available. However, she wants Chelsea to speak to the residential person on Friday to determine her experience. She also told her that if the residential person doesn't think she has the experience, she still has a place for her and after Friday, she will be able to give her a job offer. They didn't tell me that! However, no one interviewed in between Chelsea and I. And she talked to me about the day program as if it was still open. So am I the one she is considering to take that spot? Ahhhh I wish I really knew! I'm trying not to get my hopes up. But I'm hating my job so much right now and I would love to be able to put in my two weeks really soon! I really hope that I know on Friday! I don't want to meet with this person and still have to wait even more! I'm going crazy right now....

On another note, I've been working out everyday and been eating pretty well, staying within my calories. The scale read 163.8 this morning. I'm not logging it yet. But I can tell that I'll probably be dropping a pound or two pretty soon. Hopefully in time for the Dominican! Only 13 more days!!!

ANXIETYYYYYY.

See ya! 

Melissa

PS. I got my butt to run a mile again on the treadmill last night. I did it in 10 min. I consider that a success. :) 

164 lbs.

down 33 lbs. from start

24 lbs. to my goal

 

Not much has changed yet, but I have a feeling that it will soon! We went grocery shopping last night and I'm ready to eat right again! I realized it's been about a month since I've lost much, if anything, at all. That is not OK. I've been putting in the time at the gym, but I haven't been eating right. I have to learn to plan my meals out on the weekend as well. That's usually my downfall. In order to win my DietBet, I need to be 160 lbs by July 1st. I would really like to be in the 150s in 2 weeks for vacation. So 2 lbs a week... we'll see!

 

So my job has been kind of sucky lately. We have been super understaffed so I've basically had to fill in as a rep taking calls 40 hours a week. It's such a burnout job. I'm over it. So it inspired me to apply for social service jobs. That's what I went to school for and that's my passion. Problem is, social services doesn't pay crap, and I'll have to start at the bottom and gain some experience to even come close to making a decent wage. I had two interviews in the last week. The first was at Castlewood Treatment Center as a Direct Care staff member. The place is for people with eating disorders. I would love the job. The place is beautiful!!

The downside would be that since it is for eating disorders, I would eat breakfast and lunch with the patients. And I would eat what the cook prepares and am expected to eat 100% of my meal most days. Problem is, I'm SO picky! It would probably be good for me to force myself to eat it. But I honestly don't think I could. I would love the job besides that.

I had another interview at St. Louis Arc which is a place for people with developmental disabilities. I applied to be a Direct Support Professional. Preferably, I would like to work in the Day Program there. I would basically take people to participate in the community. This could mean going to the park, volunteering at an animal shelter, etc. I think I would love it! The other option is to do the same job but in the Residential section which would mean doctor appointments, making sure they get their medicine and then also potentially assisting with showering and other care. Obviously the Day Program will be more rewarding. I would get to help them explore their interests and get involved! My interview went well and I am supposed to meet with two coordinators from two of their locations later this week. The only downside to this job is that it will pay HALF of what I make now... That is really crappy. But if I will be happier and gain the experience I need, I think hope  it will be worth it in the long run.

I'll let ya know how things go as soon as I know! Cross your fingers for me!

See ya!

Melissa



164 lbs.

down 33 lbs. from start

24 lbs. to my goal

So I'm feeling good and remotivated! I really am back in my groove! Working out all the time keeps you energy level up and makes working out not so bad. It's weird how when you start getting lazy, it is soo hard to get back into it. But once you are into it, easy peasy!

Anyway, Phil and I trained with Jeff last night. I was totally not in the mood to work out. I was feeling shakey and like I hadn't eaten enough(although I think I had) before we even begun working out. We did mostly strength training stuff so I didn't die. I can already tell my arms and thighs are going to be sore. We ended our workout with a little competition. Phil and I sat in v-sits facing each other and had to take a stability ball, touch the ground on both sides of you with the ball and then throw it to the other person. We were seeing who could do it the longest. We did it for like 5 freaking minutes! Jeff expected like 40 seconds. lol. I didn't want to quit! I pushed through it. We were both dying, but thankfully Phil finally caved and I eventually won! lol. But I think seeing our motivation to beat eachother sparked some ideas in Jeff's head. I feel like there may be more competitions in our future.

We have a softball tournament tomorrow. I have never played softball before so that should be interesting.. lol. We created a team at work with a bunch of people from our department, excoworkers and our boyfriends and a couple friends. We are going to play again another department at our work. That should be fun. But it is supposed to rain. If it does get rained out, they are rescheduling it for June 29th. That is the same day as Pridefest and I really wanted to go to Pride this year since I had to miss last year. So we'll see!

So I lost my DietBet this month unfortunately. I didn't lose much weight, but at least I lost something. But I just joined another one! It begins tomorrow and ends July 1st. So that will mean that I will have to keep working on this while I'm on vacation! But ya know, I don't think that will be that bad. It is an all inclusive place.. so I'll be drinking a lot of alcohol. But when it comes to the food, I feel like I won't do that bad. I can't really snack there like I usually would. The restaurants are only open certain hours so I can't just go grab food when I'm bored and feel like munching. Last year, we typically only ate at meal times. So I think I'll be OK. But I still will have to try really hard, because I'll have a lot of new grounds to break. I haven't done my official weigh in yet but if I weigh tomorrow what I weight today... I'll have to be like 157ish lbs.

Well, I have to get back to work. I only have a half day today. AND I have a job interview! Wish me luck!

See ya!
Melissa

164 lbs.

down 33 lbs. from start

24 lbs. to my goal

I'm getting back into the groove of things. I have been to the gym every day this week since Monday and I'll be there tonight too. I have yet to lose any weight though. I need to work really hard these next few weeks. I want to be in the 150s by the Dominican. I always get stuck around this spot every 10 lbs. I have to push through and get into the next 10. As I've said before, that is always extra motivating and gives you that boost you needed! I will be so happy! It will be early highschool years weight!

I now fit into medium t-shirts well. That was one of my non-scale goals! I still wear a Large in tight/fashionable shirts and dresses, but it's still a step in the right direction. The pants still have a ways to go. I went shopping yesterday and it totally depends on the place, but I fit in between size 11 and 13. Some 13s fit me pretty good and then sometimes, they are huge. Pants are so weird and it's so hard to get ones that fit you just right. I think 13s are still way too tight from Target. But I hate all Target pants. lol.

Phil bought some new protein powder flavors. We got Cookies 'n Cream and Strawberry. I tried the Cookies 'n Cream last night. I have a problem with the texture of protein powder, but I think I figured out the best way for me to enjoy it. I blend 1 cup of ice, 1 cup of light chocolate soy milk and 1 scoop of Cookies 'n Cream protein powder. I think blending the ice into it makes the entire drink a different consistency so that I don't notice the powdery texture as much.

Well, my work sucks right now so I'm going to get back to work. Ughhhhh......

See ya!
Melissa

164 lbs.

down 33 lbs. from start

24 lbs. to my goal

OK, I am getting back into the swing of things! It's terrible how just taking a week off at the gym messes up your eating and your motivation all together. But Phil and I trained with Jeff last night. It felt great! I know I'm really going to be feeling it tomorrow! I'm already feeling it in my glutes a little this morning. I am seriously so happy that Phil and I signed up for this and are doing it together. It is really what we needed.

So I have concluded that I am not going to with this DietBet. I have 4 days to lose 4.4 lbs. I wish I didn't screw myself when I first started this bet by using my weigh out picture. I could have won if the goal was like 162 or so which is what it was supposed to be as opposed to 159 lbs. I also wish I could sign up for another DietBet right now. However, if I did, it would end while we were in the Dominican so I couldn't do my weigh out. So I am making a goal for myself. Maybe me and Phil can bet against each other. I want to be in the 150s and he wants to be in the 220s by the Dominican. So in the next 25 days, I need to lose at least 5-6 pounds! It won't be easy, but it's a totally do-able goal! I'm going to push myself. I don't want to fall off the bandwagon.

Let me tell you what happened last year... I lost almost 20 pounds from March to May-ish. We went on the float trip with our friends like we always do. I quit MyFitnessPal and went back to my old ways. I slowly gained all the weight back. We went to the Dominican in August. I wore a maxi dress on the flight there. We got off the airplane where they great you with shots and whatnot and a guy working at the airport asked me if I was pregnant!! That's one of the worst things that can happen to a girl. I was so mad and sad. And a few weeks after that, my grandma told me my belly looked like I was pregnant(grandmas have no filter, or at least mine doesn't). You'd think that would inspire you to do better. Well it doesn't. It just made me angry. So I ate my feelings. And gained more weight. It wasn't until I went to the doctor in November. I weighed 197 lbs and the doctor told me that I was prehypertensive. She then proceeded to tell me my weight in previous years and all about my gradual weight gain. I was tired of going to the doctor and them telling me how unhealthy and fat I was. That's probably one of the most exciting things to me now. I can't wait to go to the doctor, step on that scale and say "BOO YA!" lol.

I'm not quite sure how I got off on this tangent. I suppose it was, because I'm scared that I'm getting content. Last year, I made it to about 174 lbs, was happy with that accomplishment and quit. I'm scared that that is exactly what is happening now. Like "Hey Melissa, you are doing better than you ever have before. You are awesome. This is good enough." NO. I'm not done. I'm still not where I want to be.

Let me also tell you another thought I have. One reason that I think I start getting lazy is because all these people are like "You look so good! Don't want to lose anymore, you'll be too skinny". One, I know they are wrong. I won't be too skinny. I'm not skinny yet. I'm just not super fat. But two, I think people, not that they are trying to be mean, but don't want you to succeed. They don't want you to be so successful that it'll make them look bad. So it's like "Oh good job losing a little weight but don't lose anymore please. Then, you're going to make me look really bad!" I think I am probably guilty of this as well. It's just interesting. lol.

I can't wait to get off work today and go work out! I want to get rid of all my stress and enjoy this wonderful Memorial Weekend by doing fun things, but also by getting back into routine a little bit! I have plans to go to the zoo on Saturday. I haven't been in forever! Then, Phil and I are probably going to go down to the lake on Sunday until Monday. Phil's dad and stepmom will be down there so we'll do some fishing and hanging out. We haven't seen them much recently so it'll be good to catch up.

OK, back to work!
See ya!
Melissa

I've been doing terrible lately. I need to get re-motivated! I have been doing the bare minimum at the gym... only when we have a date with Jeff. No zumba, nothing! And I'll eat good for breakfast and lunch... and then do bad for dinner. Grrr... I don't know what's happened. I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things starting today. We have our workout with Jeff. Phil and I made a deal that we would make each other go to the gym tomorrow night before we do anything too.

I've been stressing hating my job the last couple of days. I even considering going back to school to get my MSW. Phil shot that idea down real quick. He's a stickler when it comes to money and the idea of another 20 something dollars in debt is not very appealing to him. So instead, I have applied for some social service jobs that I can apparently get with my Bachelors. We'll see! I'd be willing to take a pay cut if I got to do something I actually wanted to do. My job is just transforming into a job that I did not want or apply for. It's kind of unfortunate. It may just be a transitioning phase, but I'm not happy.

I also have some family drama going on right now. Not what I need! Not that there is such thing as a normal family, but Phil's is pretty darn normal compared to mine. Why can't I have that? Ugh.

I'm ready to go to bed. Too bad I gotta get my butt to the gym intsead.

See ya!
Melissa

I refuse to weigh myself today. It can't be good news. lol. I am going to weight a couple days and see how I'm doing once I am back into the swing of things. I did not work out a single time last week. And then we went camping/floating this weekend. It was a great time! And the dreaded bikini photos did not turn out as bad as I had expected! Luckily, all the pictures were on my camera so any that were absolutely horrendous, I could delete. But really, there wasn't too many. I feel pretty good about it.

Here's a couple pics...

Two of my best friends and I! (Ashley, me, Jenny)

This is my workout buddy and inspiration Jenny and I!

This is Jenny's husband Josh and I. This is probably one of the chunkier pictures of me from the float. But I still like it! That's an amazing thing!

So hopefully Jeff is all better this week and we can get back to training. I haven't been to the gym in a week and I already feel super out of shape. I have a feeling I'm going to die tonight. lol. We have less than a month till the Dominican now and I need to get serious! I want to keep going on vaca and to the lake and floats and feel better each time!

See ya!
Melissa



Why have I not worked out ALL week?! And I allowed myself to eat crap the last two days. I'm gonna be a chunker for the float trip. :( 

I don't even want to step on the scale until later next week when I have hopefully repaired the damage done this week. 

164.2 lbs.

down 32.8 lbs from start

24.2 lbs. to my goal

 

I was not successful in convincing myself to go to the gym last night... I've just been tired and wanted to relax. I also wanted to try one of those recipes I told you about! So I did a lot of snacking. It was all healthy snacking but I overdid it just a tad. From the blog, I made the One Minute Chocolate Cake.

 

I will tell you that mine looked nothing like that picture. However, I was happy with it. It wasn't the best chocolate cake I've ever had.. but I didn't expect it to be. It was good and satisfied my sweet tooth. I was mad at myself for not going to the gym. But ya know what, sometimes you need a break and to just not do anything. And that was me Monday and Tuesday this week. And also, we're going to have to be working out every single week for the next 6 months. We might as well take advantage of Jeff being sick this week and take a quick break. lol. I hope I can at least convince myself to go to zumba tonight. I mean, we do have a float trip this weekend!

See ya!
Melissa

 

164.2 lbs.

down 32.8 lbs from start

24.2 lbs. to my goal

So I have not personally tried any of these recipes YET... but I definitely will soon! Maybe even tonight! I discovered an amazing blog. You can visit it by clicking this link: Chocolate Covered Katie - The Healthy Dessert Blog! Obviously everything looks delicious! I've seen a lot of recipes on Pinterest for different healthy desserts. Most of the time when I look at the actual recipe, there is a loooong list of ingredients that I have never heard of and definitely don't have in my house! The ones I haven't heard of frustrate me. How am I supposed to go to the grocery store and find something when I don't even know what it is in the first place? haha

This is her Chocolate Cake Batter Milkshake! Yum!

Anyway, the recipes that I've found on this site all seem pretty simple. I have found quite a few that I can make without even having to run to the grocery store first. This is a major plus for me. Convienence! When I want something sweet, I want it now and I'm not going to go to the grocery store to buy ingredients. If I want sweets that bad, I'll end up going to Ted Drewes. lol.

So Jeff was sick and cancelled on our session last night. We rescheduled for today. Hopefully we survive! :)

See ya!

Melissa

Edit: Jeff is still sick so I have to talk myself into going to Cardio Dance tonight. I have not been in the mood to work out. I need my personal trainer to force me there! By the way, I love Jeff. He's nerdy. And super nice. The last text he just sent me...  "I want to be there so bad!!! It's killing me! You guys are awesome for staying on top of everything. I can't to see you guys soon!!" lol. Cute. Okay, bye!

164.2 lbs.

down 32.8 lbs. from start  

24.2 lbs. to my goal 

So the scale finally gave way! Not much but enough to keep me going. I'm also feeling a little more positive about the float trip. I think I'm gonna wear a bikini! Most tankinis aren't cute anyway. They kind of shorten your midsection making you appear even wider. I'm just gonna go for it. I just have to be conscious of my position in pics. No sitting just straight up and down on the raft. Only standing.. laying.. or hiding behind other people. Lol I just gotta do it! But I'm gonna work really hard this week for this weekend and also for my DietBet. I'm about 5 lbs away. If I work super super hard, I may be able to win. I'm not giving up! It's now or never! Today I had my first rest day since last Monday. I needed it I think. I decided to lay out for a bit instead of going to zumba. I liked this pic I took... But remember, I don't look like this standing up. Lol 

That's my motivational pic to keep me going and to feel that good about my body standing up, sitting down, jumping, whatever! 

Ok. Time for bed! 

See ya! 

Melissa 

165 lbs.

down 32 lbs. from start  

25 lbs. to my goal 

 

So this week is weird. It's our first week with a personal trainer which is awesome. But my weight is not moving. And I don't feel skinny this week. I feel like I don't look any different than I did at 197 lbs. Also, we have our yearly friend float trip next weekend. I just put on my swim suit.. and I'm not happy. I'm going to be in a tankini again this year. It wouldn't be as bad if I was standing up the whole time. But sitting down, I am still very unhappy with how my body looks. And so many pictures are taken on float trips while you're sitting on the raft. I'm just not having it. I thought that I would look so much better at this weight and I just don't. I thought I'd feel so much better this summer. I wish our trip to the Dominican Republic wasn't next month. We went in August last year. Even though I'm excited for the trip, now I want more time to work on my body. I want to be totally comfortable in a swim suit! And that will not happen in the next month. Blah. Maybe I'm just having a bad week. But I'm feeling uninspired. I have eaten well all week and worked out every day and the scale has not budged. I need the scale to keep moving or else I get unmotivated. And then you get my trainer and lots of other people that say "Don't look at the scale. Look at yourself in the mirror." That isn't helping. I'm looking chunky this week. This belly needs to go and it needs to go now! I'm crabby. Is this work day over yet so I can go workout with Jeff?

See ya!
Melissa

165 lbs.

down 32 lbs. from start  

25 lbs. to my goal 

 

Let's just say.. I am feeling Tuesday's workout! I feel it particularly in my upper arms/shoulders and back. I also feel a little in my glutes and abs. I'm glad we'll have two days between workouts to rest up a bit. I did zumba yesterday for two hours. I'm so happy to have found zumba. It's a way for me to do cardio and not feel like I'm working out.

 

I just wanted to let you all know that I can tell that I did something right on Tuesday. :) Now I'm ready for that scale to start moving again!!!

 

See ya!

Melissa

165 lbs.

down 32 lbs. from start  

25 lbs. to my goal 

 

So we survived Day 1 with our personal trainer! I actually really enjoyed it. I'll try to tell you what all we did that I can remember.

 

We started off doing a circuit that included...

• Box Jump
• Push ups
• Running on a broken treadmill(so we had to literally push the belt to move.. lol)
• The thing where you take a stability ball and switch it back and forth from your feet to your hands.. working your abs.
• Dead lifts(don't remember the weight)
• An arm exercise with weights.. don't remember the name

Then we switched it up a bit...

• Toe touches
• Lunges
• Push up holds
• Another arm exercise
• Planks
• Side planks
• Some push up balance opposite arm and leg things
• Push up and high five Jeff things
• Squats

And there were a lot more but I don't remember. We also did...

• Pull ups
• Hyper Extension Bench
• This thing where I put a stretch rop thing around my feet and pull it with my hands and take sideways steps

OK, that is about all I remember. And I'm sure I'm boring you trying to explain things that I don't know the names for. But I actually did better than I expected to. Jeff was just trying to get a sense of where our fitness level is at. Surprisingly, Phil had a really hard time. He thinks it may have been because of the Chinese food we had before.. lol. But he felt like he was going to pass out and had to sit down for a while. I think he was kind of beating himself up over it and felt stupid. But if you haven't done high cardio stuff in a long time, you're going to have a hard time. He's going to do better than I will in a lot of ways. I think that I would have been in the exact same position had I not began cardio last Thanksgiving. Next time, Jeff said he plans to do some more strength training with weights. That will probably be more of Phil's thing than mine. Overall, I really enjoyed it and I look forward to more! Since our schedule this week is not our typical schedule, Phil is going to work out with him for 30 minutes on Thursday and I'll have my 30 minutes on Friday.

I'm going to zumba tonight to get my cardio in. I can't wait to see how my life is in 6 months!

See ya!

Melissa

165 lbs.

down 32 lbs. from start  

25 lbs. to my goal 

So Phil and I have signed our lives away.. We are officially signed up for 6 months with a personal trainer that involves 8 sessions per month (or twice a week). Ah! It ended up being WAY more expensive that we even thought.. but by the time we realized how much it was, it was kind of too late to back out. It is so expensive that I can't believe I'm really doing it.. However, I am happy that I am. I think it will be worth it! 6 months is enough time to make big changes! I've been on this journey for 6 months already, I should be where I want to be in another 6.

We will typically have our sessions on Mondays and Thursdays at 6:30pm. We couldn't fit it in yesterday so we're doing our first official session today. He expects us to do cardio 3 times a week so that means.. I will be working out 5 days a week. And that also means I can do zumba and easily get my cardio in! And I still have the best zumba days free.. so I'll probably do Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday most weeks.

My trainer Jeff did my assessment yesterday(meaning he took all my  measurements and what not). I am currently at 29% body fat which is in the average range for women. I'm pretty happy with that. But Jeff has plans to get me to like 24-25%. He tells me to stop worrying about the scale and just look at myself in the mirror. If I'm happy with that, that's the important part.. especially since he plans for me to lose fat, not weight. Well, I can't not look at the scale. I know it drives a lot of girls crazy. It helps me. It keeps me motivated. And I do want to lose fat and gain muscle, but I still need to get more lean. I know my body type and I know I should technically be smaller. My mom and I have very similar builds and she was always thin when she was young. She had a really good body. I would like to get to her size back then. I'll tone up as I go, but I still have some weight to lose whether Jeff agrees or not. lol.

Jeff did tell me that I'm more fit than Phil. I found that kind of funny. Because 6 months ago, I think I was the same as Phil. In fact, I'd always be scared to do physical activities with friends for fear of being so out of shape. I would ride bikes with Phil but if he wanted to ride with a group of friends, I would back out. I'd be so scared that everyone would be going too fast and I wouldn't be able to keep up. Same thing when my friends would invite me to do 5ks. I'm still a little scared of that though. lol. Now I'm getting to the point where I realize, my fitness level is pretty average and I need to not limit myself so much. I've never heard of anyone dying from riding a bike while out of shape. lol.

OK.. time to get to work! I'll let you know how tonight goes!

See ya!
Melissa

165 lbs.

down 32 lbs. from start  

25 lbs. to my goal 

So I have been eating well and working out really hard the last week or two(if you don't count yesterday) and the scale is moving slowly, but I want it to go faster! When you work hard, it should pay off. lol. I know it will in the long run but sometimes it doesn't feel like it. So I bought a new scale this week just because I thought I had a cheap one that wasn't entirely accurate. My new one is the same way. I can weigh myself twice in just one minute and the scale sometimes says two different things. Obviously my weight doesn't fluctuate that quickly. I just wonder if there is a scale that exists that just works really well. I'd like that scale!

So I have realized that alcohol is bad. Not only are you ingesting too many calories when you go out drinking, but the aftermath is even worse. After a night of drinking, sometimes I'll want to eat at night. But the next morning, I really want to eat. I want the worst food possible and lots of it. That's how I'm feeling today.. morning after Cinco de Mayo. I did more drinking this weekend than I've done in weeks. And I think I can go a few more weeks without drinking. lol.

So Phil and I have decided to sign up with a personal trainer. We are going to do the group training. It's a lot cheaper if we do it together. It'll be 2 times a week for 6 months! It's definitely not cheap, but I think it could change us! 6 months is a long committment. I'm looking forward to it. I hope to still fit in my zumba on the other days as cardio and then hope the trainer can assist me more with the weights and toning. Hopefully that will help me lose the weight but get toned at the same time so I don't find myself having to play catch up in the toning department once I reach my goal weight. I'm pretty sure we are signing up today after work!

I stumbled across this picture the other day. I want Britney Spears' body! I don't want to be uber muscular. I just want to be small and toned. This is my inspiration. :)

I do not want to work today... and I want Jack n the Box. Blahhh. Hopefully I can keep myself in check. I cannot slack this month. My summer body and the DietBet is currently on the line! :)

See ya!

Melissa